Ghost Drift
by Objective Mistress
Summary: "You can always find me in the Drift." Being a Jaeger pilot has cost Mako everything. Why have reality when memories were so much sweeter? Pacific Rim AU


**Title:** Ghost Drift

**Rating:** T

**Word Count:** ~1800

**Summary:** "You can always find me in the Drift." Being a Jaeger pilot has cost Mako everything. Why have reality when memories were so much sweeter?

**Author Note:** I'm not even sure I got the Pacific Rim universe stuff in here right, but I've done my best. I kind of think this fic is trash but let's do it. Haven't written anything this dialogue heavy in a while.

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"Do you know why you are here?"

"No, not exactly," Mako squinted against the harsh bright light and crossed his arms. "But it's not the usual if you've got me hooked up to a lie detector."

"Ranger, you are compelled to answer our questions," the uniformed (and as far as Mako was concerned faceless) Pan Pacific Defense Corps officer demanded. "You did not submit to your mission debrief and it is imperative that we follow proper report procedures, especially considering the…circumstances."

"Has it occurred to you that I don't _want _to relive any of the events of that day?" He gritted his teeth. "Also, I'm not a Ranger anymore. I've been out for years."

"Look kid," Marshall Beifong leaned over the desk. "You came with us because you know we need Jaeger pilots badly. We wouldn't have come to you if we didn't need you. And by the way, you never retired. You're still a Ranger to me."

"Oh great, so I'm your last resort."

Mako had no desire to be involved with any of this. Being a Jaeger pilot had already cost him everything that mattered to him in his life. But dying in a Jaeger couldn't be worse than dying of exposure, starvation, or disease (as was becoming more common as conditions deteriorated). At least he could tell himself that.

"If our positions were switched you would do the same."

Everyone was dead. Well, at least most of the Jaeger Program. Kaiju attacks in the last few months had become devastatingly frequent. Most of the in-service Jaegers were destroyed or left without a pair to pilot them. Rumor was that the PPDC got so desperate they foolishly tried again to find a way to solo piloting to work. As if that idea wasn't a disaster in the very first Mark-1 Prototype Jaeger test way back when.

"We are here to determine if you are mentally sound enough to undergo the process of Drifting with the partner we have selected for you: Asami Sato."

"Oh, so you think from the combat room that we're Drift compatible then?" Mako tapped his fingers on the table.

Asami was an old friend. She was a top-notch mechanic through both of his tenures in the Jaeger program. She was kind and knowledgeable in the Jaeger systems down to the smallest details of operation, repair, and creation. But more importantly, she was a friend to both Bolin and Korra while they were alive. These threads and shared history certainly made them Drift compatible.

The officer shuffled through some papers, "Perhaps not as compatible as your two former co-pilots—"

"You know damn well they were more than just co-pilots," he had no reason to act cordially to these two.

"Tell me why you left the PPDC twice."

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"_Bolin?" Mako cried out in pain, feeling a sudden neural load crashing over his system and pain in his head from the Kaiju's strike._

_He looked over to his right; his eyes fell over a gaping hole in the cockpit. Bolin had been ripped completely out. He felt him die almost instantaneously._

"_Bolin!"_

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"Because I had my brother and my lover killed while piloting a Jaeger with me. You already know that."

The officer hit a few buttons on the lie detector machine, "Just checking to make sure we get an accurate read."

He was being toyed with. The PPDC knew the answer to every single question they intended to ask. Part of him still didn't know why he was willing to come back when he knew he would face this treatment. Maybe it was because being a (former?) Ranger was one of the only threads that anchored him in life. Everybody had dead people; Mako had quite a few.

"Tell me what you did after your first departure from the corps."

"I worked as a welder on the wall. Tried to forget."

"Did it work?"

"What do you think?"

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_The nosebleeds from solo piloting followed him for weeks. The tiny pools of blood in his eyes took months to clear up. But Mako wasn't sure if he would ever recover from losing his brother._

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"Yet, you came back."

"I did."

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"_That was quite the performance in there, Mr. Hat Trick," Korra followed him out of the Kwoon Combat Room._

"_You weren't bad," the slightest smile broke through his icy expression._

"_Man, what does it take to impress you?" She nudged him gently in the side. "We're Drift compatible. That's all that matters. I really like you and we were practically made for each other!"_

_He could feel it that she was right. But the idea of having a co-pilot that was so impulsive and unpredictable seemed dangerous. Korra was an unknown factor. _

_Korra must have seen the look of doubt cloud his expression. "Forget I said anything…"_

"_I just don't feel the same way about you."_

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"You and Korra didn't get along immediately."

Mako smiled ruefully, "No we didn't. But that changed."

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_As soon as they reached his bunk their lips collided. After sharing headspace many times in the Drift, it was easy for him to tell where this was headed. The connection was still there when they disconnected from the hardware. He didn't need an expression or words to know how she was feeling, but it was important to say certain things out loud._

"_Are you sure you aren't doing this just because we had a rough battle?" Mako managed between kisses._

"_Are you kidding?" Korra grinned. "I've wanted to do this since the first time we met. But you already know that since you're in my head."_

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"Korra's death seemed to impact you more that Bolin, why is that?"

Mako frowned, "If you're trying to imply that it was because I loved her more than my brother you're dead wrong."

"Then why?"

"You know how they say your life flashes before your eyes before you die?"

"Yeah?"

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_Korra screamed in pain as one of the spines from the Category IV Kaiju pierced through her gut. "Mako!"_

_They had never seen a Kaiju like this._

_He stole a glance in her direction, feeling her pain and distress._

_The spine impaled her straight through, damaging the Spinal Clamp on the back of her suit. He could feel her pain, every excruciating detail. It was almost too much; his control over the Jaeger waned as he tried to keep her side of the neural link from overwhelming him. If he lost control, neither of them would survive._

"_Korra, you're going to be alright!" He yelled frantically._

_Her posture was hunched as she struggled to help him pilot the Jaeger to safety. She coughed a fine mist of blood on to the inside of her helmet. More of the red fluid dripped down her suit, staining the white armor scarlet. She drifted in and out of consciousness as they headed for shore; Mako could feel the full neural load wax and wane as her consciousness ebbed._

"_Mako…" her voice was weak already. "I'm not going to make it."_

"_Come on, just a bit farther."_

"_I love you."_

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Mako hesitated, "…Well it's true."

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_While the neural link surely had its advantages, experiencing his lover's death first-hand wasn't one of them. As Korra's body faltered, so did her ability to keep from latching on to memories. Images of fun in the snow with her parents as a toddler whizzed through his mind. He caught a glimpse of a young Korra signing her papers into the Jaeger program with two very proud parents behind her. Her first Drift. Meeting him._

"_You've got to stay with me Korra," he gritted his teeth._

_Although Korra was technically still helping to carry the neural load, he was essentially solo piloting. _

"_It's over…I'm so sorry…"_

"_Korra!" _

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"I don't remember anything after that…" Mako admitted. "I know I had a seizure that almost killed me. I know I have more permanent neural scarring. But that's it."

Beifong spoke up. "You solo piloted for thirteen minutes…likely longer if you consider the time that Korra was unable to help you. It was a miracle you survived."

"Would have been easier if I hadn't."

The officer closed his logbook. "That's all we need Ranger. Report to your Jaeger for a Drift test with Ranger Sato."

"Wait a minute," Mako got to his feet. "It all makes sense now. This is a fucking stress test!"

"Let's just get this test over with kid," Beifong left the room.

He tried to get his anger under control as they helped him get his suit on. The Pons, spinal clamp, and helmet went on as easy as they ever did. As soon as the Relay Gel drained out of his vision, he stole a look at Asami.

"Are you sure you want to do this with me?"

"It's just a test," she shot him a small smile. "I've always trusted you."

But as soon as the Neural Handshake was initiated, Mako knew things were going wrong. He just couldn't reign in his mind and keep it clear of thoughts. He couldn't help it; focusing on a single memory was such a great temptation. He had to chase the R.A.B.I.T.

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"_We should get married," Korra nuzzled into his chest._

_The beds in the Shatterdome were always too small to accommodate two, yet somehow they made it work. It forced their bodies to press together, skin sticking in the aftermath of lovemaking in the evenings. Despite the imperfections, Mako couldn't see a better scenario._

"_Oh really now?" He kissed the top of her head. "And how do you propose we do that."_

"_Not now," she mumbled into his skin. "Someday. Maybe when this is all over."_

"_You think it'll end?"_

"It has to right? Or what are we fighting for?"

_He smiled broadly and pulled her up until her lips met his. "I love you."_

"_Love you too, Cool Guy."_

"You shouldn't be here," Asami spoke up from near the door of his bunk.

"This was our last night together," Mako didn't bother to turn to his co-pilot. "The next morning, the Kaiju came in and she was gone."

"I know, but the Jaeger—"

"Why have that reality when I can have this one?"

"_Where were we?" Mako grinned, allowing her to crawl over top of him.  
><em>

"_I think somewhere like this," she kissed at his neck._

_Life had never been sweeter._

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**Author Note:** Not sure how much I like this. Super dialogue heavy. Well it's over now.


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